When one looses a loved one through death or design or even both at the same time……., the magnitude and depth of emotion left behind can become overwhelming and insurmountable on occasion. Picking oneself up can be a task too many amongst the daily chores when tears begin on waking. Decisions or actions made in such times, lets face it, are generally ones taken without due thought and can be detrimental to ones confidence – which is generally way down there with the sweepings in the gutter. For some, a veneer of laughter and frivolity is but a shallow veil for the deep sadness that invades every fibre of their soul.
Those really daft decisions made in such circumstances, include in my case, internet dating. So why……… you might well ask?! In a society that values personal partnerships way above the benefits of being single, the desire for a lover, friend and partner in crime is ‘massive’ (please say this with a deep, strong ‘street’ dialect) hence the modern phenomena, rising from the ashes of communities that no longer exist, of using technology to find a mate. I say ‘mate’ rather than partner as I fail to see how the games that are played on line are a prelude to finding, what I would consider to be, a lover and soul mate. Maybe at the grand old age of forty five my thoughts and morals are of a bygone age where manners, time and thoughtfulness have disappeared along with Black Jacks and Fruit Salad sweets (I really loved Black Jacks……………! Do you remember Flying Saucers and Milk Bottles……………… yum!?).
Referring to Chapter 1 here, perhaps the internet dating site idea should be consigned to the bin and changed completely to a community one, where men and women can meet, without any pressure, in a purely conversational atmosphere. Where body language can be observed and where a spark of chemistry can be ignited if that said spark is ‘read’ correctly by both parties – hey - this is ringing bells…………. School – bloody school – horrible place. When was the last time you mixed in a fairly gender balanced gathering – work, friends…………? Ummmm perhaps the Matchmaker idea isn’t so far fetched after all.
I for one, am jumping off the dating bandwagon in disillusionment. Thank you to all those I’ve chatted to and apologies if I didn’t get back to you – it wasn’t personal! Those of you who were blocked immediately due to entirely inappropriate messages – shame on you. To those I met, heartfelt thanks - I enjoyed your company but wish to curl up on the sofa on my own………………
One more thank you - to all those who have wished me happy birthday today – your effort is very much appreciated!